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Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Britain's remedy for cardiac problems....

This morning I got what for me, and for millions of British people, was a "singular" question.
Simply: "What is streaky bacon"
Admittedly, the young lady in question wasn't British, and that sent me wondering how many millions of others didn't know Britain's answer to Cardiac problems.....!
Imagine not knowing what streaky bacon is....can it be.....? It's presence at all British Breakfasts is undisputed, even Heart Clinics serve it....well - maybe! The above photo is the natural, uncooked state, and here - to make hearts beat faster is the cooked version:
 To locate the item on the beast, here is a large chunk, in its natural state: Now, I think, you can all place it!
Of course, it can be used forall sorts of things, apart from Breakfast, and to get the favourite out of the way, here is the "Plat National" of Great Britain, served - logically - with "a nice cup of tea" (I've never heard it described as anything else):
 THE BACON BUTTY. (A sandwich made from "elastic" bread and cholesterine)!
Basically the belly of that useful animal - the pig - it is blanched and then either salted or salted and smoked, but it can also be "pickled" in Balsamic vinegar, and this gives it a totally different taste and usage.
The latter is used, for example, in "false oysters" - a dish using prunes (dried plums) wrapped up in streaky bacon, and either oven cooked, grilled or fried, usable as a starter or entrée course.
Streaky bacon also has it's place elsewhere in the kitchen - to "bard" poultry, that is to cover the breast flesh of chickens etc., before roasting. This prevents burning, and although the bird should be basted from time to time, it reduces the risk of over colouring. Some people adore crunching the canceragenous burnt rashers of streaky bacon, but they tend not too last long! Streaky bacon also finds itself, often, INSIDE the poultry in question, in the form of stuffing, the traditional type being "sage and onion" which  - in that "green and pleasant land" is sold dried, ready to add liquid and streaky bacon and ram, with force, up the back end of most poultry!
Apart from the "traditional british breakfast" - (here are a few examples)    -  

  -    which fewer and fewer people eat, due to it's price and due to the fact that getting up at 08.45 to start work at 09.00 does not leave much time for proper consumation....! Often the pleasure is left for the Weekends, and saves work for housewives who then call it a "Brunch":

Always present in the well-known "mixed grill"   the product of all time is consumed in quantities beyond imagination, be it from Denmark, Australia, New Zealand or anywhere else! If a country prepares, produces and eats "Streaky Bacon" then the general consensus is that "they can't really be ALL bad, then"!
So - having replied to the question, having done my bit to raise the cardiac attacks in Britain, I feel that I can sense your hot breath in my neck as you all head off to the kitchen.......!
Bonne Appétit - just keep the phone and the "Urgency" number close at hand.........


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